Sunday, October 28, 2007

Appendix D- Example of peer and family acceptance

Appendix D

Example of Peer and family acceptance

For me, peer and family acceptance is one of the most important factors that influences whether or not I will become friends with another person. I value the opinions of my close friends, boyfriend and my family very much, so if they don’t like someone or have a bad feeling about them, I will not pursue a relationship with that person.

One example of this occurred two years ago. I met a girl through some work colleagues and we instantly “hit it off”. It was not so much that we were similar, we were actually quite opposite, but she was fun and we always had a great time together. When I introduced her to my partner for the first time he developed an intense dislike for her. I blew it off as jealously, but deep down it upset me that he didn’t like her.

The same thing happened when I introduced her to a few of my close friends. Some of my friends came up to me and said that while she was fun and appeared to be nice they had a bad feeling about her. After that, I started to see her less and less, and while it upset me that I wasn’t hanging out with her as much anymore, I valued my partners and peers opinions and their acceptance of her was extremely important to me.

It was my family’s disapproval that finally made me stop seeing her and delete her number. My parents thought that while she was a very nice person there was something a bit off about her. A month after I had deleted her number I heard through a friend that she had been arrested and charged with armed robbery (no joke!). Apparently there had also been another girl in the car with her who was also charged, though later the charges were dropped. It turned out that she had met the girl a month ago and the girl just thought that they were going on an innocent drive to get petrol. She later learnt that she was considered an accomplice, even though she knew nothing about what her new friend had been planning. When I think of all the times I went to the local servo with her it scares me.

This is a true story and it is also the reason why I rely on my friends and family’s acceptance of my new or potential friends. They have the ability to step back and look at situations and people objectively and can see things that I can’t. Furthermore, I just like knowing that I have my family and friend’s approval or acceptance.

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